Giving advice to friends about relationships can be tricky. You want to be helpful, but you don’t want to be pushy or nosy. If you’re not careful, you could end up saying the wrong thing and making the situation worse. So what should you do if your friend comes to you for relationship advice?First, you should listen to what your friend has to say. They may just need someone to vent to, and they may not be looking for advice at all. If they are looking for advice, then you should ask them what they want to know. Do they want to know what you think about their relationship, or do they want you to help them solve a problem?Once you know what your friend wants, you can give them the advice they’re looking for. If they just want to vent, then let them talk and try to be a good listener. If they’re looking for advice, then you can give them your opinion on the situation. Just be sure to be honest,
Do stick up for yourself
Speaking up about what you need and what you deserve is not only a good idea but an important skill for any relationship to work. It sounds simple, but it’s not always easy to do and sometimes you may feel afraid to stick up for yourself. But if you want a relationship with someone who treats you well and respects you, it’s important to let them know when they’re wrong and make sure they know how you feel. Assertiveness is absolutely crucial to a successful relationship—and the more you practice it, the better you’ll feel about yourself.
Don’t be a people-pleaser
People-pleasing is a form of self-sacrifice where someone puts the needs of others before their own. Being a people-pleaser is more than just being a pushover—it’s a way of thinking that puts others’ feelings before your own and allows others to walk all over you. If someone says something that makes you uncomfortable, instead of speaking up in a direct and calm way, you’re likely to give into their demands or hurt feelings out of a fear of conflict. As a result, you may end up giving away more than you want or need to! The next time someone tells you what to do or how to act, listen but don’t automatically agree. Ask them why they’re making this request and think carefully about whether you really want to do what they’re asking.
Don’t give in to bullies
It can be tempting to try to talk your friend out of their unhealthy relationship, but it’s important to remember that it’s their life and not yours. Being a bully often comes from a place of insecurity and misplaced anger. If your friend won’t listen to you, then they won’t change. A relationship isn’t healthy, and it’s important for both partners to realize that. There are many ways to support someone you care about, including being a good listener, offering to accompany them, or even helping them seek counseling. However, if your friend won’t listen to you about their unhealthy relationship, then it’s not your job to force them to change. Your job is to love them unconditionally and remind them of their worth.
Don’t use your work email for personal use
When you’re working hard on a project, you want to keep your work and your personal life separate. And because you’re likely less guarded when sending work-related emails, it’s easier for your colleagues or clients to ask you about your personal life. It can be tempting to let your work email fall into the hands of your romantic interests, but it’s important to remember that you don’t own your work email. Your employer does, and they have the right to read those messages. So unless your boss explicitly gives you permission to share your work email with your romantic interest, do not do it.
Don’t be a doormat
As a doormat, you show your friends that you’re willing to accept whatever they do and say, no matter how hurtful or unfair it may be. This way, they will feel comfortable speaking to you about their relationship issues and confide in you. However, doormats aren’t good at giving advice to their friends. They will be too afraid of being rejected or hurting their friend’s feelings if their advice doesn’t work out. Even worse, they might lose the trust and respect of their friends when they realize that they were wrong.
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Don’t wait to be asked
People often don’t feel comfortable sharing their feelings in romantic relationships because they’re afraid of rejection or, even worse, abandonment. But one of the most crucial things in a relationship is being able to express your thoughts and feelings. And if you’re in a relationship, it’s not just you who wants to hear honest feedback—it’s your partner as well. So, when you’re thinking about a friend’s relationship, ask them if they’re willing to talk about what they like and don’t like about it.
Be polite
People like to talk about their relationships and they are likely to ask you, “Do you think so-and-so is a good match?” If you’re not yet in a relationship yourself, it can be easy to give unsolicited advice. But if you’re in a relationship, you don’t owe anyone advice—not even your partner! As a best practice, when someone asks you about your relationship, respond with a neutral answer (if you can even manage to do so without thinking about how you really feel), or simply change the subject. This will help your friend to learn how to ask for help on their own.
Be professional
It’s important not to be overly familiar with your friend—or anyone you advise—in a romantic context outside of the relationship. While you may feel like you know your friend best, giving them relationship advice can backfire if you’re not careful. For example, if you tell your best friend that you think they should break up with their partner because you don’t trust them, it’s highly likely they’ll be hurt and will feel like you’re meddling in their relationship. Plus, you don’t want to be responsible for breaking up a relationship just because you don’t trust that the person isn’t being honest with you.
Be clear and concise
It’s hard to give advice when you aren’t sure what to say. Take time to think about what it is that you want them to do. Tell them why and how you want them to make improvements. Be clear and concise in what you are trying to get across. Be willing to listen to their feedback and make changes if they decide to follow your advice.
Don’t be a people-pleaser
One of the easiest ways to give relationship advice is to simply repeat what the other person says. This can work in some situations, but more often, it can do more harm than good. If you repeat what someone says without considering how it applies to your unique relationship or situation, you’re sending the message that you don’t care about their feelings. This can lead to frustration and resentment on both sides, or it can make the other person feel ignored or unheard.
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It’s okay to say no
As a culture, we’re quick to give unsolicited relationship advice. Sometimes this is because we mean well and want people to be happy. Other times, it’s because we want to bolster our own self-esteem by seeming wise and insightful. Regardless of the reason, if someone asks you for relationship advice, it’s important not to offer unsolicited advice unless it’s asked for. If they want to talk to you about a problem they’re having, then by all means, give advice. But if they ask you for relationship advice, it’s best if you refer them to a therapist or to relationship books and articles they can read themselves.
Be kind to yourself
It’s easy to forget that you have feelings and needs too. Being nice to yourself and prioritizing your needs and what you want, however, doesn’t mean that you’re selfish. Sometimes you just need to take care of yourself and your feelings. If you feel overwhelmed by something your partner says or does, ask for support. It’s also important to remind yourself that you’re not to blame for your partner’s behavior, especially if it’s something they’ve told you they’ve struggled with in the past.
Love yourself
The number one thing we can do to help someone in a relationship is love themselves. If you constantly put someone down or put them down in front of their partners, they will feel like they are constantly being rejected and will start to believe they aren’t good enough. If you are always trying to fix a person or give them advice about improving their relationship, you could easily be the cause of the relationship problems they are experiencing. Don’t put someone down and if you see someone you care about struggling in their relationship, don’t give them advice. Instead, love them and remind them how much they are loved.
Be honest with yourself
You might be afraid to hurt someone’s feelings or cause them to doubt your love or trustworthiness. But the truth can be a powerful motivator for positive change. If you’re not honest with yourself, others won’t be able to see your authentic self either. And that’s not fair to anyone. A relationship can’t thrive when one partner is pretending to be someone they’re not—it just makes everyone feel confused. So be honest with yourself, and be honest with others about how you feel, especially when it comes to the people you love.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Everyone struggles with something when it comes to relationships. Not everyone is up to speed on how to talk about their feelings or how to handle conflict. Everyone struggles with self-esteem and feels like they aren’t good enough for someone they care about. There are plenty of reasons why people struggle in a relationship. They may have been through some bad past relationships and are not sure what to expect. They may have been hurt before and are afraid to trust others. They may struggle with an addiction or mental illness and not know how to handle it. The list goes on and on. If you feel like you are struggling in your relationship or would like to try to improve it, it’s important not to be afraid to ask for help. Relationships require work, and you can’t do that work alone.
Don’t be a victim
One of the most common mistakes women make in a relationship is to allow themselves to be a victim of their partners’ controlling ways. If you feel that you are being dominated or controlled, speak up immediately. Be direct and honest and express your concerns. Your partner may not realize that he or she is treating you this way. If you don’t say anything, it will only get worse. The more you let your partner push you around, the more you will feel victimized. If you refuse to put up with controlling behavior, your partner will soon realize that you are not going to take it anymore. It’s better to break up with someone before you are treated the way you were. When you are in a relationship you are responsible for yourself. Nobody else can make you feel the way you do about your partner. Your partner can’t force you to love them if you don’t. It’s time to stop being a victim and start taking control of your life.
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Be vigilant
If you don’t feel safe giving advice to your friends about how to solve a relationship problem, that’s a sign that something is wrong. If someone you know acts in a way that makes you feel unsafe, it’s everyone’s responsibility to speak out. If someone is mistreating you, or anyone else, you have a responsibility to let them know. If you are afraid to give your loved ones honest and direct advice, it’s because you are afraid of how they might respond. That is not an excuse for allowing someone to mistreat you.
Protect yourself
If you have reason to believe that your friend is in a harmful relationship, it is your responsibility to step in and offer them advice, as well as support. However, if you give a friend relationship advice without first asking them if they’re willing to receive it, you could be opening them up to more abuse. Assume that everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and if you notice that your friend is being mistreated, speak up about it.
Learn self-defense
The most important thing you can do to protect your sexual health is to learn how to defend yourself. There are many ways to learn self-defense, including classes, books, websites, and videos. The most important thing is to find a method that works best for you. Whatever method you choose, it’s important that you practice it regularly and consistently, so that you can feel comfortable using it if you ever need to.
Be aware of your surroundings
While it may seem harmless, advice given in the moment can be dangerous. If you don’t feel safe, don’t offer your opinions. You can’t always control the reaction of those you are trying to help, so make sure you always think about the reaction your words will have on them.
In conclusion, if you find yourself in a position where you are giving advice to friends about relationships, remember to keep these do’s and don’ts in mind. Do listen to your friend, and really try to understand their situation. Don’t be afraid to give your honest opinion, but be respectful and considerate of your friend’s feelings. Finally, don’t forget that you are not in the relationship, and so you cannot control what happens. The best thing you can do is be a supportive friend and be there for your friend no matter what happens.
