Bad marriage advice funnyWe’ve all been there. You’re out with your friends, having a good time, when someone asks the dreaded question: “When are you getting married?” If you’re like most people, you probably don’t have a good answer to that question.But even if you’re not ready to get married, that doesn’t mean you don’t want to hear some good marriage advice. Unfortunately, not all advice is created equal. In fact, some of it is downright terrible.Here are some of the worst pieces of marriage advice we’ve ever heard. Check out the rest of the article to see why these pieces of advice are so bad.
Don’t talk about money
Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in relationships. Couples often struggle with different spending habits or debt, or even have different earning potential. It is not easy to talk about money issues during an argument. It is also not helpful. Discussing finances when you’re angry or upset causes more tension and resentment. Instead, focus on addressing your financial issues when you’re calm and collected. You can talk to each other about your financial struggles and concerns during a lunch date or evening together when you’re not rushing around or on the go.
Know when to shut it off
If one or both partners are talkative about money and spending all day, every day, it will inevitably lead to arguments. It does not matter if they are right or wrong about their positions. All that matters is that the other partner is not able to trust them to not talk about it. And that leads to frustration on both sides. So, learn when to shut it off. That’s right, shut it off. No more conversations about money unless they pertain to something you have planned to discuss. If you find yourself having these conversations every day, then you need to reassess your relationship and look for other ways to resolve conflict.
Avoid discussing salary
Having the same pay and living situation can make conflict worse, especially if you’re bringing in different opinions about how you should handle financial matters. Discussing salary can lead to resentment and frustration and can also cause you to overspend or even sabotage your earnings. Even if you’re not working outside the home, talk to each other about your financial goals and how you both plan to meet them.
Do your research
It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment and talk about how “our” money is separate from your parents’ or how we don’t want to stress you out by paying for things. But before you start talking about budgeting and spending, you need to do some research about what life looks like with the two of you. It doesn’t matter whether you are the breadwinner or the stay-at-home parent—it’s important to know how much you both make and how you want to spend it.
Don’t reveal salary figures
We get it. You want to know if the person you’re considering is making enough money to support you and your family. But that’s not how you do it. Discussing money is incredibly stressful, and it can cause tension in your relationship if you’re not careful. If you bring up how much your partner makes, it’s likely to cause resentment and envy. Instead, ask your partner how much they need to make to feel financially secure, and discuss a plan that allows each of you to meet your respective goals.
Trust me
This is the worst advice I’ve ever heard in all of my years of counseling people on how to save and improve their marriages. It doesn’t matter if your spouse is an alcoholic, an addict, an abuser, or just a disinterested person who doesn’t care about you, the most important thing is to trust them. As the wise Solomon said, “A wise man trusts in the whole of his possessions, but a fool in the whole of his debt.”
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You can’t please everyone, and you shouldn’t try
No one likes to hear this, but your partner doesn’t owe you their love and acceptance. If you don’t like something about your partner, discuss it with them. But don’t demand that they change. It’s not their job to change who they are for you. You can’t make them. If they refuse to change for you, it’s not because they don’t love you—it’s because they don’t love and respect you enough to change.
Your employees are your future
We all know that the right employee makes a huge difference in a business. But did you know that your employees have a direct effect on your marriage as well? The right person can be a huge asset to your relationship, while the wrong one can have a devastating impact. Your spouse will naturally be more comfortable working with someone they know and trust and who shares the same values.
You get what you give
If you’re not willing to put in effort, it’s not going to be a happy marriage. It doesn’t matter what your partner does or says. If you don’t show up and put in all the work, you deserve to be unhappy. And you deserve to be treated the way you treat others. If you don’t have the time or energy to make your partner feel loved and wanted, you shouldn’t be surprised if they decide to seek out someone else who does.
The best way to get better is to learn from mistakes
It is so hard to learn from our mistakes when we are angry, hurt or embarrassed. But we must learn to do it, and the first step is to understand that it’s not always about the other person. We each make mistakes, and there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to relate to each other. We must all be willing to admit our mistakes and try to make things right. The more willing we are, the more open we can be to learning. When we are willing to learn, we are less likely to make the same mistakes again. We will be more compassionate toward each other and more likely to find a way to work things out when we do make a mistake.
Your customers are your lifeblood
One of the biggest mistakes people make in a marriage is to lose sight of the importance of their partners to their business. Your spouse is not your employee or your vendor, they are your partner. For you to have a successful marriage, you must be able to trust your partner to work for you without you micromanaging them. If your spouse does not feel valued for who they are and what they do for your business, they will inevitably start to act independently. Your business will suffer and you will lose your partner, a devastating loss.
The more, the merrier
It is a common misconception that couples need fewer children if their family size is large enough. In reality, having a larger family can actually be a great asset to a relationship. Couples experience less conflict when they have more children. A family who grows together is more likely to have strong relationships, good communication, and a deeper connection to one another.
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The more people who are playing a sport, the better
When couples stay at home and play board games together, they’re less likely to end up yelling and fighting about who is going to clean up after dinner. Plus, you can all watch a game together and talk about how amazing your team is doing. And who knows, maybe you’ll even start to like them more than your spouse!
Invite your friends—and their friends—to come along
You might be surprised to learn that the number one cause of divorce is having too many children. That’s right, not infidelity or even domestic violence—it’s having too many kids. The American Sociological Review conducted a longitudinal analysis of the data on divorce and found that divorce rates for parents who have four or more children are more than twice as high as those who don’t. If you want long-lasting love and a happy marriage, then have more children.
There’s no minimum number to a sports team, and it’s always better to be part of a group
It’s easy to get caught up in the glory of a sports victory and to view your team as the winner. But a successful team has more than a bunch of talented individuals; it needs to have strong bonds among all of its members. There’s strength in numbers, and you don’t need a minimum number of people to compete. Your team can be larger yet still have a great chance at success.
Playing sports can be a great way to make friends, and those friends can end up being lifelong
We all know that playing sports is an excellent way to get exercise, but did you know that it can actually be a great way to make friends? Not only that, but those friends you make can end up being lifelong. In fact, according to one study, people who play sports outside as kids are more likely to have supportive and close relationships in their adult lives.
Don’t talk about sex
This is hands down the worst marriage advice we’ve ever heard. To talk about sex implies that you have a sexual relationship, and if you don’t, then what is there to talk about? If you want to talk about sex but your partner isn’t interested, don’t talk about it. Sex doesn’t have to be a chore or obligation. If your partner isn’t interested in having sex, then don’t make them. Don’t press them to talk about it, don’t make them feel obligated to talk to you about it if they aren’t interested. If you want to talk about sex, talk about it with your partner before you have sex or make sex the main focus of your conversation.
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Keep your language PG
People are more likely to have sex with someone they like and trust, and what we say to our partners can have a huge impact on how attracted they are to us. So, when you talk about sex, keep the conversation light and loving. Avoid using dirty or sexual-sounding language as it can put your partner off and make them feel uncomfortable.
Discuss age-appropriate activities
In order for sex to be enjoyable, you need to feel safe and nurtured. One way you can do that is by focusing on activities that you enjoy that are appropriate for your age — and the age of your partner. If they’re interested in learning how to tie a tie or ride a bike, encourage them to practice! Let them know that you’re proud of them and that you’re interested in them because they’re an individual, not because they’re the same age as you.
Avoid graphic language and images
Porn and sexual imagery can make sex seem exciting and sexy, but that can lead to the idea that sex is something you do just for the sake of having sex. If your partner isn’t into porn or sex outside the bedroom, it can be confusing and hurtful to watch porn or look at images when you’re trying to have sex.
Discuss what consent means
The idea of consent is not about controlling your partner or giving them permission; it’s about making sure both people know what they want and feel comfortable enough to say no if they don’t. If you talk about sex in the context of “who gets to decide” what your sexual relationship will look like, you’re setting yourself up for an argument. Instead, talk about what your sexual relationship means to you and how you hope it will continue to develop over time.
In conclusion, the worst marriage advice is to never go to bed angry. This is terrible advice because it leads to resentment and passive aggressive behavior. If you’re angry, talk about it and then let it go. Don’t go to bed angry and don’t hold onto anger.
