Tips on moving on from a long term relationship can be difficult to come by. You may feel like you’ll never be able to heal your heart and move on. But there are ways to make it easier on yourself. Check out these 10 tips on moving on from a long term relationship.
Don’t rush falling back in love
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time you’re likely to have feelings of insecurity you haven’t felt before. You may worry that you’re no longer desirable to your partner, or worry about losing them. If you’re trying to move on too quickly you’re only going to make those feelings worse. You don’t want to rush falling in love; you want to love slowly and authentically. Focus on the things that you love about your partner and the things that made you fall in love with them in the first place.
Recognize that it’s OK to be single
Some people get over a break-up so quickly that they fall into a relationship within the first few weeks. Others take a very long time to heal. No matter which category you fall into, it’s important to recognize that it’s not wrong for you to be single. It’s perfectly natural to feel heartbroken and want to get back together with your ex. But if you’ve put too much time into a relationship and still feel like you’re not ready to move on, that’s totally OK. It’s not because you’re a bad person, it’s because you’re not ready to be in a relationship yet.
Avoid the pressure to rekindle
Being in a relationship with someone can be incredibly stressful, especially if you’re not used to it. The pressure to have a romantic relationship can be incredibly strong, but it’s important to realize that you don’t need to jump back into a relationship just because you’re feeling vulnerable. There are ways to love yourself and move on that don’t involve getting back together with your ex.
Take your time
A slow reentry into love can help you avoid getting hurt. While it might feel good to jump back into things immediately after a breakup, rushing into a relationship makes it that much harder to recognize that you still love your ex. Take some time to heal and learn how to love again. The more you put into healing your broken heart, the quicker you can move on to a full and loving relationship.
Don’t make a move if you don’t feel it
If you don’t feel a connection to your partner anymore, it can be incredibly tempting to make a rash decision. But rushing into a relationship after a breakup will only cause more heartache and confusion. If you’re struggling to decide whether or not to move on, talk to a therapist to explore what’s causing you to doubt your relationship and how to move forward.
Remember that love is a choice, not a feeling
We may be able to remember the way our relationship made us feel years ago, but that does not make it real. We must remember that love is a choice, not a feeling, and that we have a choice to love or to walk away. Your feelings may change and you might feel differently about your partner, but you are always free to choose love. Someone else may have made you feel happy in your relationship, but you are the one who can determine if you will choose to stay or walk away. You can make a choice to stay or walk away based on what is important to you.
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Love is not a feeling
So many of us believe that love is a feeling, something that just happens to us. When we are in a relationship, we get to experience all kinds of feelings: joy, sadness, anger, jealousy, and love. This is something that is wonderful, but it does not make love a feeling. Love is a choice. It is a decision we make to be with someone, to put them before ourselves, to make them feel like the most special person in the world.
Love is a choice
You may be wondering if loving your partner is even possible after a breakup. The answer is yes! But, you have to choose to love them. You cannot be forced to love someone who doesn’t deserve it. If you choose to love them, you will be able to move on. You will learn to appreciate the good things about them and love them for who they are. If you love someone, you will want to see them happy and to help them make their dreams come true. You will want to help them grow and change for the better. You will always want to see them smile and will always want to be with them.
When you love someone, you want to be with them
It is perfectly normal to feel a strong emotional connection to someone you are in a relationship with. But it’s important to understand that while love is a feeling it is also a choice. We can choose to love or not love someone.
You choose to give them the time they deserve
If you feel that you’re not giving your partner enough time to grieve or to talk about their feelings, you need to reevaluate where the problem lies. If you’re afraid of them hurting you again, you need to work on your relationship and your self-esteem. Remember, you can’t control how they feel, but you can control how you react to their feelings. If you want to move on, you need to let your partner grieve and move on.
Avoid comparing your relationship to others’
It is important to understand that other people’s romantic relationships don’t make yours invalid. Your relationship has its own issues and deserves the chance to grow and flourish on its own. It’s important not to compare your situation to others’. Other people’s love lives may not be exactly as you wish them to be, and it’s important to remember that no one else is responsible for yours but you. Others’ relationships may have had a different path or may have been more difficult. You may wonder, “If this relationship could have worked out, why didn’t it?” But you can’t know the answer to that question. It may not have worked out for them, for numerous reasons. Their relationship may have ended for reasons that had nothing to do with you. They may have not felt ready or willing to give a relationship a chance. They may have been in a relationship that was toxic or abusive and did not want to leave.
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Comparing your relationship to others’ relationships is a surefire way to make yourself feel bad about your relationship
Comparing your relationship to others’ relationships is a surefire way to make yourself feel bad about your relationship. Your partner is not all the other people you know who have been in love or had successful relationships. Your partner is you and your relationship is unique. Every relationship is different and only YOU can decide if what you want is what your partner wants. Comparing your relationship to others’ will not benefit you in any way.
If you do find yourself doing this, remind yourself that you’re in a unique situation The important thing is that you’re happy with your relationship and you’re committed to working on it
You may not be able to compare your relationship to others’ relationships, but you can still compare your relationship to others’ expectations of theirs. People have different expectations for their partners, and if your partner falls short of those expectations, it’s perfectly normal to feel disappointed. But you can’t know how your partner feels about you unless you ask.
Recognize that there are many different types of romantic relationships
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who didn’t want to have sex or who didn’t want to be intimate with you in any way? It’s not easy to look past a disconnect in sexual or emotional intimacy, especially when the relationship was all you had known for a long time. But the reality is that there are many types of romantic relationships and that you’re not obligated to have sex with a romantic partner to stay in a relationship. It’s not a sign of incompatibility if one or both partners is sexually or emotionally averse.
Recognize that your relationship may not be like everyone else’s
Relationships can be challenging. They often include learning to balance your needs and those of your partner. The fact that your relationship is different than everyone else’s shouldn’t be a source of confusion or frustration, but rather a cause for pride in your unique relationship.
Don’t compare your relationship to others’ in terms of how much time you spend together, how much sex you have or how many kids you have
Comparing your relationship to others’ in the context of how much time you spend together, how much sex you have or how many kids you have can lead you to feel like you’re failing. Comparing your relationship to others’ in these ways is also making you think you’re not good enough—and who needs to feel like that? This is especially true if you’re comparing your relationship to others’ who are in a marriage or have kids. This can put unnecessary stress on you because you’re focusing on the ways your relationship isn’t good enough and reminding you of all the other ways your relationship is.
Recognize that you can be friends
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is allow ourselves to move on, even if it hurts. It’s important to realize that it’s not about the person you once loved, it’s about you and your happiness. Even if you aren’t ready yet to date someone new, it’s important to realize that it’s not the end of the world if you can’t be with that person anymore. Your feelings may hurt, but it’s important to realize that the pain you are feeling right now is not permanent. It’s important to recognize that you can be friends with the person you once loved. And in time, you might find that you are able to love someone new.
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Recognize that being friends doesn’t mean you have to like everything about a person
Sometimes you may not like all of the aspects of your friend’s personality or life choices, but that doesn’t mean you have to cut them out of your life. It’s perfectly fine to be friends with people you don’t like if it makes you happy. Focus on the things you do like about them, and work on improving your relationship from there.
You don’t have to agree on everything
Sometimes people grow apart for a reason. You may have different priorities or ways of looking at the world. That’s perfectly fine. You won’t change a person’s opinion just because you want to. You don’t have to try to change anyone or force them to see things your way. If a relationship is worth keeping, then you need to allow both people to grow and change independently of one another.
Be open to new experiences and opinions
It can be challenging to trust your partner with new things after a relationship has ended. Sometimes the person you used to be feels too good to let go of, and the person you became while in a relationship feels like an imposter. This is a natural reaction, but the key to moving on is recognizing that you can have new relationships and learn new things. If you feel unsure about how to handle these situations, talk to a counselor or therapist. They can guide you in your journey to learn to trust others and your own feelings.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself
If you were to find yourself in this situation, it’s likely you were already feeling some of these things before the breakup. You may have avoided certain situations and people out of fear that you would feel anxious or hurt again. It may have been hard for you to be vulnerable with your partner and express how you felt. It may be difficult to be yourself around them now. The longer you try to avoid situations, the harder it will be. The only person you can truly control is you. If you’re afraid of being hurt, learn how to love and care for yourself more. Doing things that you enjoy and focusing on your own happiness will make it much easier to move on.
Take the initiative to get to know each other
It can be really hard to let go of one person for another. If you’re still emotionally attached to your ex, it will be especially challenging to let your relationship with them fade and to move on. To help you do that, you need to take the first step. That means getting out and meeting new people. You don’t need to jump into a new relationship right away, but you do need to get out there and start to build a new social circle that isn’t dominated by just one person.
In conclusion, if you are struggling to move on from a long term relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. There are many resources available to help you heal your heart and start fresh.
